We have bigger houses but smaller families,
more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense
more knowledge, but less judgement
more experts, but more problems
more medicines, but less healthiness.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back
but have trouble crossing the street to meet the neighbor.
We built more computers to hold more information
to produce more copies than ever…
but have less communication.
We have become long on quantity but short on quality.
These are fast times of fast foods but slow digestion.
Tall man but short character.
Steep profits but shallow relationships.
It is a time where there is much in the window
but nothing in the room.
HH The 14th Dalai Lama
I Am Grateful To Be Gluten Free is about to undergo some changes. The name will be changing and this blog may become a .com. I will be doing some co-blogging with the author of a cool 'inner and outer beauty' blog. I will continue to share my family's weekly menu and seasonal shopping tips as well as focus on sustainable living; organic gardening, composting, Community Supported Agriculture programs and seeking out local foods, making our own basic household items, reusing, reducing, and useable quantity shopping tips.
On a personal level, my husband and I have made a major life changing decision. As we were plotting the new garden over coffee, a sickening sense of, "What are we doing?", came over both of us. We knew if we finished the new bed, that we were making a commitment to it. We looked at each other and at the same time said, "I think it's time to move." We have lived here for years. Two people, two cats, and a wonder dog. (The Kid flew the nest 2 years ago) 5 sunny rooms filled to the brim with stuff and life. 2 Patios. 4 garden beds. The compost. The dog's weed maze. The river. The coyotes and javalinas. The 90 year old ex East Coaster neighbor with 'moxie', a mouth like a truck driver and a stray cat issue. The way the full moon rises perfectly over the fire pit. Memories. Stability. The American Desert Dream.
Or is it?
If it is, then why does it feel like it's killing us? Why is more than half of our income going to 'the house' that we don't own? Why are we even thinking of planting a 16x16 garden, fruit and olive trees on someone else's property? Chickens? Another dog? And how, if we are spending half of our income on a home we don't own, are we ever going to save for our own land to create our version of the off the grid American Dream? Who are we? Who do we want to be? How do we want to be? Where do we want to be? How do we envision our future together?
For now, we are planning on moving to a tiny house in a central area with minimal yard this Summer, after the garden harvest. While I was truly devastated by the reality of the loss of years and years of landscaping and garden beds at first when we committed to the thought...I am now both excited and soothed by finding a community garden within walking distance of the new place. There is a small paved patio yard with a hidden NW garden against a wall. It will be the perfect spot to plant a Garden of The Three Sisters (I'll explain that one in another post). The co-op, numerous cafes, the 'good' library, music venues and the dog park will be a quick bike ride away. I can walk to somewhere and not in an unlit, unpaved part of the outskirts of town, where you need a car to go anywhere. The new community is younger, involved, of like mind, louder. It has happy dog park dogs, sidewalk art, street parties, clean up and wildflower seed planting days. I'm so there.
Perhaps this is my midlife crisis, but I want to give everything I own away and start over. I am dealing with an unprecedented feeling of wanting and needing LESS. I'm literally disgusted at the filling of 5 rooms that only 2 people live in. I'm grossed out by 24 plates for 2 people to eat off of. Do we need 30 towels and 16 sets of sheets? 3 coffee pots, a French press and an espresso maker? Why do we have more clothing that will fit into our dressers and closets...but never 'anything to wear'? Why do I feel so trapped by all of it? I think the whole death scare, illness, treating myself- diagnostic nightmare, into a renewed life with new energy levels may have something to do with it all. Things got messy...on physical, emotional and spiritual levels. Now that I am grateful, my entire reality has changed. I want order as much as I want flow. I want better as much as I want less. I want to focus all of my energy on us and our future, now that we know I have one. In my future there is no room for piles, extra, or more...unless those words are followed by the word love...or, brie.
We will have to dig through years of crap while we pack, very carefully choose what we will take with us to such limited space and thus forced to donate, yard sale and or sell more than 1/2 of what we own. We are keeping 4 place settings...and donating the other 20. We are taking one simple coffee pot, the French press for camping...and the rest are going. Keeping all of the records but giving away the CD's. Do we need all of our books? Which are useful? Which are read over and over? Which haven't been touched in over 2 years? Gone, to the used media store with half of the DVD's. Those boxes full of stuffed animals, posters, note books, size 0 clothes, dried paints and broken pastels from The Kid's teen years? I think it's time for her to take them. I'l keep one box with the important papers, poems, art and fragile sentimental items. My epic menu collection? Bub bye, can't eat you again anyway. Gone, with the huge cloud of worry, will be the ridiculous heating and cooling bills for a beautiful yet drafty desert house with only 2 people in it. The ever growing water bills. The care and keeping of a 1/4 acre that we don't own. The piles of crap we don't need.
In exchange for space, we will be free, in so many ways. Stay tuned.
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