Let There Be Bread: the first homemade sans boxed mix loaf.

The joints feel better today so I decided to make bread while I could. I looked at a bunch of different recipes and a few called out to me. I mixed a few together, came up with my own. Not bad for a first try...still needs some improvement...but I'll post the recipe anyway.


Prepare a loaf pan...I think I have an 8-inch. Lightly oil then dust with brown rice flour. Set aside.

Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl and set aside:
1 cup almond flour
1 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup white rice four
1/4 cup tapioca starch
2 teaspoons of guar gum or xanthan gum
1 teaspoon sea salt

In a small sauce pan, heat water to warm, not hot, then turn off heat:
1 1/4 cups of water
then add:
2 Tablespoons honey or agave nectar
1 packet active yeast
Mix well; set aside.

In a small mixing bowl:
2 eggs
2 Tablespoons of veg oil
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
Mix well.

To the dry ingredients:
Add egg mixture, then the warm yeast mixture. Beat by hand until thick and well combined.

Pour into the prepared pan, tent with foil, and let rise until doubled in bulk. Preheat your oven to 350 when the bread is done rising.

Bake for 15 minutes, then turn the pan, and bake for another 15-18 minutes. Let pan cool on a rack then turn bread out for further cooling before slicing. Hot...it tasted a bit tapioca bun like. Cooled...yum.

The Secret

Garden's in and thriving...so the dog ripped up most of it this morning. Feeling gluten/grain better...so my joints flared up. Kid's in love...so she's with the wrong person. Husband loves his new job...so they knocked him down to 4 days a week. His health insurance will kick in soon...but not for Fibro woman. Had a huge moment of spiritual contentment...so today I'm questioning and restless. I don't ask for much in life; gluten free bread that tastes like bread, a nice roast on sale, my hard work in the garden to bear food, access to simple health care, happy family memories, a hug that doesn't hurt, connection with the divine in all of us.

 I am fighting the Poor Me trap by remembering all things happen in the way they do...without your assistance sometimes. You can't control them, but you can control your reactions. Why can't I yell and scream and bitch and moan...is my first thought. But my second is, "What is this situation trying to teach me?" What is all of this unpleasantness trying to tell me? What's the missing puzzle piece? What's the secret??

The secret is... nothing. It's not a personal attack. Life is life. It's sweet and bitter. It's a blooming garden and it's a ripped up patch of dirt. It's a good pay check and it's 'let's hope we can meet expenses."  The garden is the dogs favorite sunny spot. He's confused about the fence. He jumped it and rolled in the composted manure because he's a DOG. There has been something wrong with my body other than just the Fibro and gluten issues for some time. I have a preexisting condition...so NO freaking insurance company will insure me.  It's the slow season for the tech work the guy does...thus the 4 days a week. I am seeking God/Spirit/Goddess/insert deity here... in her/his truest form to me. There will be MUCH questioning to come still.

This is called the human experience; pain and pleasure, glory and consequence, love and hate. If there is a secret to life...I think it's to remember we're human...full of imperfections and in no control whatsoever of the things that happen in it...other than what we make happen ourselves like getting out of bed and making yourself go to work, or watering or not watering the plants, forgetting that condom, choosing cloth bags VS paper, flossing, phone calls, or burning dinner because you were too busy typing online...sorry, I'm only human :)

Almond Flour!

OH MY GOODNESS! I am feeling so much better eating lots of protein and veggies. Grain free forever? Probably not. Almond flour forever? Yes!

My daughter came over for a Mom-made dinner, laundry, sleep-over night. I hadn't baked all week... and I could tell that was not going over well by the hungry circling in the kitchen a few hours after dinner. I said the words..."If you'll make it gluten free and cut the sugar in half, I'll eat it." She printed out a brownie recipe from Hershey's, then proceeded to ransack the pantry. Rice flour wasn't doing it for her, so I suggested the almond flour in the refrigerator. The Kid's love for almonds is legendary around here. She replaced the almond flour cup for cup of flour, and cut the sugar in half, then followed the classic recipe for the rest, intuitively adding an extra 1/4 tsp. of baking powder.

She then proceeded to the frosting recipe in the similar ransacking way. "Agave nectar? What kind of hippy crap is this, Mom?" I gathered my patience (I almost named her Patience. I should have). "Kid. Where did we grow up?" "New England. Why?" Well. What did we get fresh from Maple trees in Vermont?" "Maple syrup...duh." "Where do we live now?" "The desert. Are you feeling OK?" "Do you see any Maple trees or do you see Cacti and Agave in the yard? It's now our local food." She pondered for a minute, then asked,"How the hell do you tap a cactus?" I sighed and went the college kid route. "Agave plants have a heart under those pointy leaves. You can collect it's sap aka nectar and/or you can steam press it for Hornito's Silver." "OH. Cool. It's like the multi purpose pig of Cacti-Agave world. What else can you make with it?" Mi Corazon...

Back to the brownies. She baked them according to the directions, and actually let them cool before frosting them. WOW. So good. Honestly, the best gluten free baked good I've had yet. They were among some of the best brownies ever, and I have eaten a Moosewood Brownie, there. She used agave nectar in the frosting in place of the corn syrup. It worked well. The half pan that was left...went in the 'fridge overnight and they were BETTER the next day. Almost like fudge. Funny thing was...even though they had some sugar in them, I didn't feel like crap after I ate them. Yep. Almond flour is my new friend. While they were really, really good with cocoa powder...I'm so going to start looking for dark chocolate deals and come up with my own melted chocolate recipe. I'll share.

Things That Make You Go Humm

Since going gluten free 5 months ago, I have regained about 60- 70% of my former health back so far. Talking to other people with the same issues, I find that this % is common with those of us that discovered our gluten issues later in life, and in those of us that are both Fibro'd and glutened. Still, being the mad scientist that I am...I can't help wondering about that 30-40% I'm missing. Where is it? Is it gone for good? Can I get it back? Should I even waste energy trying to reach for something that's not there? Days like these make me really wish I had health care, insurance, and access to testing. I don't, so it will be up to me to figure it out.

My working hypothesis is that I really eased up a whole foods diet in order to eat gluten free baked goods, snacks, and other "normal" sounding and feeling foods. I looked passed some long standing food boycotts, and ate things I haven't in years...just because they were gluten free. I am suffering from the result of a high carb, high glycemic index diet...my very own version of the Standard American Diet I gave up years ago. I'm craving sugar like a drug... even driving to the corner store at midnight to get a bag of MnM's...a good sign I'm eating too many simple sugars. Yep. Said it out loud, so now I have to fix it. First thing on my list is to cross off: snacks...until I can look into buying almond flour next week. It's expensive but very high in protein, low in simple carbs/sugar, and worth every dime.

It's not my meals...it's not lack of good food...it's too many refined sugars, flours, and crap for snack time. It's white rice flour bread. It's sugar, chocolate chips, and an oven. It's frozen doughnuts, and 4 pieces of GF pizza because it doesn't make me sick.

So that's my Humm for the day. I'm following my own advice and eating like it's the first GF week again and eating ONLY whole foods in their natural state for a few days to what happens.