Yuck

Cough, hack, sneeze.

The new menu looks like this: brown rice, dry sorghum toast, chicken broth, water, pear juice, ginger-osha root tea, Oregon grape root-elderberry extract, garlic, Vit. C, Vit. D.


Repeat until further notice.

Elimination Diet Number 3

The first elimination diet I did was supervised by a misinformed person in 2002. I had no clue or computer and listened to her bad advice, such as spelt and sprouted grains being gluten free. Needless to say, that first one didn't show much. The second one, last October, is the one that gave me back my life. I didn't finish it though, and didn't do things in a proper order. Once I hit on all gluten containing grains, I stopped to pause and further explore that issue, and never 'challenged' eggs, soy, dairy, corn, nightshades, meats, etc. I have been 100% gluten free since October 2009. In the past 10 months I have slowly regained most of my health, lost a lot of weight, my hair grew back, and addressed all of my nutritional deficiencies. Corn, my very dear friend and needed for my favorite food, popcorn, has been bugging me lately as has dairy, tomatoes, shellfish, beef, yeast, some fruit, and nuts. Time for elimination diet number 3.

This time, I am armed and ready with the right information. Thanks again, to The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen and their awesome cookbook. I also now know I can't eat grains, so I'll be fishing for everything else this time. I am not in any stretch of the imagination looking forward to no caffeine, but I'm really looking forward to the no sugar part. Wow. It makes me high. I'm also craving corn more than usual. My Mom always said, "Listen to your cravings. They may be telling you that you need something in the food you are craving, or, that you shouldn't be eating it." I was a bread dominated person and eater, 10 months ago, so I think she was really on to something. I'm feeling only an allergic person would have grits for breakfast, corn with dinner, and popcorn for a night snack...or a corn farmer. Some raw tree nuts make my mouth feel raw. GF yeast bread fills my stomach before it's filled with enough food. Add on a cheeseburger patty and feel like I have a rocks in my belly. Not good.

I wonder how long my body was trying to tell me all of this? All I knew was I was very sick, had no access to medical care, and had to do something before I died. Gluten was very, very obviously the main culprit and eliminating it from my life... has been like receiving a new life as a gift. I'm looking forward to a hopefully similar event to come out of this, even if it means limiting my popcorn intake to a normal person's serving or avoiding it all together. I know, I say that now. Corn, dairy, and gluten free life in reality? That should be a challenge, indeed. Since I needed more than a good month to recover from that epic, icky move, the time is drawing near to start Number 3. I have decided to share it with the world and post through it. Yay! I thought if it inspires ONE person to to take charge of their own health, then it's worth is beyond measure.

The Blogger Takes A Break

Week 3 of pain, spasms, and overwhelming fatigue. I wish I could explain this fatigue to someone, anyone. It's as though I ran a 3 day triathlon in my sleep. I wake up more sore and exhausted than I was when I fell asleep. It's not 'yawn, I'm sleepy' fatigue. It's 'wow, we just climbed MT Everest' fatigue... a deep physical fatigue, not lack of good sleep fatigue. I am very inflamed and spastic, so the slightest movements cause spasms to break out all over my body. I'm also facing new symptoms that don't match my diagnosis. This, whatever it is, is not how Fibromyalgia works in me (3 weeks??). Neurological 'fun', is NOT fun.


I have been doubling up on the coconut oil, arnica, passionflower, Vit D, magnesium, and malic acid, but what I actually really need is medical care, drugs, and an MRI. Without health insurance, none of this matters, so I am doing my best at self-care. Mostly this means sleep, water, and alternating the heating pad with the ice pack. 

I'll be back when I am feeling better and I am ready to write and cook with full on, loving intention again. Hugs, Tam


Today's mantra: Pulling In The Oars By Kirtana
I'm pulling in the oars of this tiny boat,
growing weary of the rowing
and all the effort to reach some shore,
when it's not shore where I'm going

Rising with the tide, breaking with the wave,
I surrender every notion
that there is someone here to save --
as if I'm separate from the ocean!

And I surrender to the mystery
In the lap of God I rest my case
The force that bore this world can carry me
Who am I to question grace?

Who dreamed me into form?
Whose will sustains me?
Who brings what comes my way?
And when I die, who claims me?

Looking back, sometimes I have to laugh
What a lot of work it's been,
clinging to a sinking raft,
just to keep from falling in

So drown me in your darkest pain,
your softest kiss, your sweet despair
I've seen your face now and I know your name
And I can find you anywhere

I surrender to the mystery
and to the love that rises up to sing
Come what may, I vow to wait and see
I really don't know anything

I surrender to the mystery
and to the love that rises up to sing
The force that bore this world can carry me
I really don't know anything
I really don't know anything
I really don't know anything

Grocery Store Wars

Sharing a Tuesday giggle

1 Bag, 2 Baked Delights! Quick GF/DF Dinner Rolls and Sticky Cinnamon Buns

I have been working on a flour blend, so I have been trying different blends to see what I like best in each one. I had picked up a few bags of Pamela's Bread Mix. I used one and made baguettes a couple of weeks ago, which came out very good. I had also used it for pie crust last Thanksgiving, but never for other breads. I was planning on making baguettes again, but was feeling like I might want something sweet, too. Hum, what to do? Well, who says the whole batch has to go in a bread pan?

I followed the OVEN mixing directions on the bag and used a wooden spoon in lieu of a stand mixer. I used an ice cream scoop to scoop out the sticky batter into to a greased muffin pan. I made 6 dinner rolls. The other half of the dough had become less sticky, was looking like I could roll it, shape it, and should play with it... so I did. 


I sprinkled my baking board with rice flour and dumped the dough on it. Using a rolling pin, I rolled it into a smooth, even rectangle about 1/2 inch thick (maybe < / >). I then spread the dough with Earth Balance and sprinkled on a good 1/3 -1/2 cup of organic brown sugar, a scrape of nutmeg, and lots of cinnamon. I then rolled it up like a jelly roll and pinched the seam closed with wet fingers. I sliced 6, 2 inch thick rounds, put them in a greased baking pan.


I let both the dinner and cinnamon rolls rise for 45 minutes and baked them at 350 (f). The dinner rolls were done in 20-25 minutes, the cinnamon buns took 35.

While the cinnamon buns were still hot, I combined almond milk, maple syrup, and a TBS of powdered sugar and poured it on...instant sticky buns!


The verdict? Pamela's is by far my favorite GF bread mix in terms of both taste and versatility. It's dairy free and easy to work with. I do not have a stand mixer, and I still reached a great end product by beating the heck out of the dough with a wooden spoon (not to mention my arms are looking great from all of this test baking). I think I am taken by the honey-wheat taste of sorghum flour. The end note is a little gluten free tasting, but in general, not gross, grainy, or beany. I'm inspired to bake because of it, and that can't be a bad thing. There is also ZERO crumble factor. None. The softness and mouth feel of the finished goods leads me to believe I can make bagels that will taste like bagels, and possibly a soft pretzel or 12. Oh, and pizza crust is next, that is for sure.

The dinner rolls are crazy soft & chewy, and are keeping well. They are great as is or toasted, and they are large...burger patty large enough, I think. The cinnamon buns were the first I've ever made and I don't think I'll do a thing different next time... besides add nuts every now and again and play with different seasonal glazes. They were perfect, with no weird GF aftertaste. I'd tell you how they keep, but they are gone...down to the last crumb. So glad I took these pics before my baked good monster got home from work!

Holy shit, it's beer!

I lost my tolerance to alcohol somewhere in the mystery illness era. I haven't had a drink in over 2 years. I absolutely must stay away from hard liquor for the rest of my life. I still have flashbacks about the stuff that came out of my mouth while I was trying to keep up with the cocktail hours, while sick and unknowingly hurting myself with every sip I took. I'm better without regular drinking in my life. Clearer, vibrating at a different frequency, I enjoy life. I do miss friends that wrote me off as 'sober' (aka No Fun) due to illness... because I'm in no way a 12 stepper, Big Book reader, or a friend of Bill W. I simply chose to stop drinking liquor to feel better. That's powerful, not 'powerless'.

Also powerful is the power of an ice cold beer, damn it. Beer is good. Beer is liquid bread. Beer is ancient. Beer is beer. Beer does not make Tam act like an idiot. I was a die hard Guinness drinker, micro brewery fan, and budding brewer. I LOVE beer. Here I am all gluten free and living life much happier than in the past...and all I can think is how nice a cold beer would feel in my hand while I watch the rains. I have zero desire to drink to get drunk. This is about taste and feeling 'normal".  If this was 5 years ago, I'd really be up a creek. Welcome to 2010 and gluten free beer, specifically, Bard's Gold.

Last night we had a pre concert party, before going to see The Rhythm Devils (my birthday gift). We had a bunch of people in the yard, drinking beer, eating Ya' Mon Salad and listening to music. I went to my favorite natural food store before they arrived to get my Guy's beer and saw the Bard's. I bought it and hid it in the 'fridge. I took a beer out of the 6-pack holder, and held it like it was a baby bird... gentle, starring longingly, cautious. I opened it. I smelled it. It smelled like beer. I poured an inch in the glass. Looked like beer. The first sip. Tears. A second sip. Laughter...it IS beer!

I still have no tolerance and was quite tipsy after only the one beer for the night, but it was good. Having this one thing to make life seem less gluten free and in tune with the rest of the population...also good.

An Ode To My Friend, Vitamin D

As I've shared, I grew up in New England. From the time I was 12, each Fall, around Thanksgiving...I became depressed. I suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). My memories include sleeping 18-20 hours a day, being home-schooled for 1/2 the year, and staring into huge full spectrum light boxes, to no avail. Moving to the Inferno, sounded like the best idea I had heard in my in life. My first Winter here, my Mom died. Though I did deal with the situation depression that a major death normally brings...I wasn't SAD.

Why on earth am I thinking about the Winter Blues in July?

Fast forward a few years, from that first Winter here. We are still living in the Inferno (also known as southern AZ), and it's July. July means 110 and humid. July means avoid the sun at all costs. I found myself pale and...SAD, all over again. I'm now sick, in the middle of my mystery illness. I've put 2 and 2 together and I ask my primary DR for a Vitamin D test. She laughs and tells me we live in the Inferno, there's no way I'm D deficient. By December, I am using a walker, I am erratic, and in constant deep pain. I am then sent to a Rhematologist. He runs the requested D level. Low normal is a 40. I was a 4. Yes, FOUR. He asked me if I had killed my husband yet, tried to hurt myself, and HOW I was functioning with virtually no D in my system. 8 weeks of 50,000 IU's a week later...a layer of ouch is gone, as is my depression.

The Summer seems to be a mix of overexposure or not enough sun. Most of us live inside, work inside, drive in cars, we cover ourselves from head to toe with SPF80 to avoid skin cancer. We need at least 20 minutes a day of full on sun exposure for it to trigger D production. If you really think about it, those 15 seconds from house to car and from car to office...aren't enough. A weekly sunburn (or a dozen eggs yolks), is not a good idea nor enough exposure to effect regular daily production, or moods. A little bit of daily sun and high quality supplementing if needed, is the only way.

I see an awareness in northern climates. More and more people take their D all Winter. It never dawned on anyone (but me) that a pre-menopausal desert dweller, could also be D deficient (in July). I live an hour from Mexico and I had virtually no Vitamin D in me. Now, between eating gluten free, tank top-no sunscreen gardening every day, and continuing a year round daily maintenance dose of 2000 IU...I am maintaining normal levels and have remained SAD free. I look back and can't help but to think that perhaps some vitamin D, along with those lights in New England...may have changed the outcome of my entire life.

Don't wait until the Winter Blues come a ' knocking. Get your D level checked!

http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/vitamind.asp